I am way too saddened by this campaign to even comment on it. I think in this post I will just let the picture speak a thousand words.


Pax

Dr. Gupta and Bill Clinton

So, did anyone happen to catch the interview last night with Dr. S. Gupta and former Pres. Clinton? I for one did not. I read about it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ-W6dvIqmU

Seriously, what on earth came out of his mouth and why on earth didn't Dr. Gupta say anything??? It is beyond me. Could someone pick my jaw up off the floor please? If you didn't happen to see it and don't have time to see what the buzz is all about, it is the former President (that's right of the USA) stating his opinion of embryonic stem cell research. He basically says that the embryos being used haven't been fertilized yet. Huh? As if we start out as chickens? Did I miss something in science class?

I think I am too stunned to rant here.




You can also read the transcript on CNN's Larry King Live here:
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0903/11/lkl.01.html

I spoke in an earlier post about having a missionary's heart. I even went so far as to inquiring about a mission trip our whole family could go on. After much discernment, I accepted that traveling outside of the country...presently...is not in the best interest for every family member. It is something that may be in our future, but not right now. So what is a person to do when they have this yearning in their heart yet have this very wonderful vocation (motherhood and married life) that they are dedicated to? You pray. I have to say that when I received an answer to my prayer about traveling to another country and that answer was a solid NO, I wasn't the happiest camper. Why would God give me this yearning but not show me the path in which to fulfill it? I kind of had an attitude just like a bratty teenager would: "Fine, then you figure out what to do with this thing you gave me! I give up! I have researched and even found a group that encourages whole families and You say no? I don't get it."
It's a good thing our Lord is merciful with attitudes such as mine. This answer to this prayer of mine came less than a year ago. It has taken me almost a year to finally get what it is that the Lord had in mind for this gift he gave me of a missionary's heart. To take you on the journey to that point, let me give some background on the story so as it unfolds, there is more understanding.
My FIL has Hepatitis C. It is something that he has lived with for about 20 years. He received tainted blood years back when the testing for Hep C may not have been what it was today (I don't think they even recognized Hep C yet but I am not sure). So after donating one day about a decade ago, he received the news that his blood had been rejected due to the virus being present in his blood. For the first few years after diagnosis, he remained, for the most part, symptom free. They tried a few treatments and some of it helped and others he did not tolerate well. The thing with this particular virus is that it is almost like a tug of war on the liver. The virus attacks the liver (the liver filters the crap from your blood as one of it's functions) and the liver being an amazing organ, will regenerate itself. In recent years, the virus has been winning a slow and steady race. The past nine months have been the most significant in watching his health decline. He has been very brave in this battle and accepts it with a kind of peace that can sometimes be frustrating. He is currently on the liver transplant list. He has some good days, but most are spent in some sort of pain...all days are spent with fatigue.
It is during these past few months that we have really been talking about God with him. He was raised catholic. He attended catholic school. He has gone to Mass a few times since I entered into the family but mostly for baptisms, first communions or Christmas. He does not take communion nor does he pray in the sense that is obvious to others around him. Since Christmas, he has been coming to Mass more frequently. We had a family gathering at our house over the Christmas holiday. His brother and his niece came with their families and Brother D (remember him?) and his family came. I leaned over to ask Brother D to give the blessing. Brother D gives the most awesome prayers during mealtimes. No sooner had I asked when my FIL interjected quickly that he would like to say the blessing. I know my face did not hide my shock that he wanted to say grace. As I said earlier, he has never shown outward signs of praying. My FIL's prayer was not one of the most eloquent prayers I have ever heard. It wasn't filled with quotes from scripture. It wasn't the kind of prayer that flowed like poetry. But it was the most amazing prayer I have ever heard because it was given by someone who just let us have a look inside. For that moment, he was completely vulnerable. It was an emotional prayer. It was a prayer of thanksgiving. It was a prayer of acknowledgement of why we all were there together in the first place. Needless to say, aside from the children, there was not a dry eye in the room and you could have heard a pin drop when he said Amen.
A month or so passed and Brother D called Matt up with the suggestion that we pray over FIL. Matt was all for this but told Brother D to call before they came (they live a few hours away) to make sure it would be well received by FIL. Unfortunately, FIL was not open to the laying on of hands healing prayer idea. Thanks but no thanks. I am not sure why this request was rejected. Perhaps we were all moving a bit too fast for him? Or maybe we just caught him off guard? My MIL was not thrilled with his rejection. She has been trying to get him to talk about God. Trying to speak to him about what his thoughts are on what happens to us when we die. Death is a reality for all of us as none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow...but death is something tangible in FIL's life due to his disease.
Matt and I decided that if he didn't want us to pray over him, then maybe we could just storm heaven's gates with petitions of our own. We did a novena to St. Jude with our four children. I truly believe that God especially hears the prayers of His little ones. They continue to pray for him every night... "Pwease watch over Papa and his wiver". In the meantime, FIL has been coming to Mass every now and then with us...the days he does not come it is due to not feeling well. A few weeks ago I was in a sound sleep. In the middle of the night I sat straight up in bed as the revelation came to me. What needed to be done was the work of a missionary! I was doing missionary work, only I didn't see it. I woke Matt up, who was also in a sound sleep, trying to explain to him what I just realized. I think he appreciated the story much better later that morning...after coffee. This missionary work is not the picure I had in my head. It' s not even remotely close to what I thought would be required of me. This is simply being an instrument. Sometimes that instrument needs to play loudly. Sometimes it needs to play softly. Sometimes it needs to sit in the corner and play nothing at all. Sometimes it needs to be tuned (this is done thru prayer so that I hear what it is that I am supposed to do and leave my own desires to shove religion down his throat aside). It is humbling to know that you are doing the very thing God sent you out to do....I was just so blinded by my vision of what a missionary was that I couldn't see it right in front of me.

A blessing in a simple phone call.

You ever have those moments in life where you keep dwelling on something someone said? You just can't let it go no matter how much you tell your brain to get rid of it? Today was one of those days plus a few other matters that just made my heart kind of heavy.
I have tried to get a hold of a friend to talk to her about one of these matters that she holds more expertise in. I wasn't able to until today. I walked away from the conversation feeling totally blessed and my shoulders are feeling less of the yoke. We didn't talk just about the subject matter I intended to. Our conversation naturally shifted onto other matters. She didn't say anything specific or have any problem solving tips. She just listened. Not only did she listen, she shared her experiences. It was a give and take conversation that was perfectly balanced. It was the first time in a long time I have layed myself open to be vulnerable. To give someone a glimpse inside of my life and not worry about what they would think of it. Nor was it a conversation where I don't ask a question where I know I am not going to like the answer. It is perhaps one of the most profound conversations I have had in recent times. So thank you friend, if I ever get the gumption up to share this blog with anyone.
I am always amazed at the timing of God's plan. I don't think for one moment that it was coincidental that I couldn't get a hold of her last night. God knew that I would need to hear her voice more today than I did last night. He knew exactly the medicine I would need...and that it would come in at the receiving end of a phone call.

Prayers for a special intention...

Do not want to give details on what the special intention is just yet (if at all). I received some heart breaking news about a distant family member. Prayers for full recovery and healing of spirit and mind.


Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art though among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Hospital!

Something about that word sends all children into a panic. Hannah's pneumonia just was not getting any better and then she spiked a fever. We took her into the dr.'s office. Hannah had lost 3 pounds in a week! The dr. said that the best place for her was in the hospital and we agreed. She was a direct admit. She was so dehydrated that the nurse couldn't get into her vein the first time. When she did get in, she couldn't get enough blood to cover all the cultures they wanted to do. They hit her pretty hard with three doses of IV antibiotics. They did another xray and found that she had a pleural effusion too. I really didn't realize what this was. It is fluid build up between the lung and the lining of the lung (the pleural lining). The lymph nodes don't drain it like they should due to the infection in her lung they were trying to keep up with. That would explain why she had shoulder pain and pain around the infected lung. She recovered quite well in the hospital and was out in three days. She remained weak but at least she was eating again. We were conservative in sending her back to school. I took her to the dr. before I let her go back. Hannah gained back a pound and her color has returned. The dr. said the effusion is still present but that we should carry on with life as normal. She wants her back for an xray next week to make sure it has gone away. This child just scares the heck out of me!
She returned to school yesterday and her classmates were beside themselves. They had a big sign hanging from the doorway welcoming her back. The children started filing in the classroom. When they saw Hannah they all rushed her...she ran! I laughed so hard. Then Hannah took off into the bathroom. I am not sure if she had to use it or just needed a breather. The other kids spread the news quickly that Hannah was back to the kids who hadn't seen her yet. Being that Hannah was in the bathroom, they expressed their glee to each other by hugging whoever was nearest to them! If the world could love with this kind of uninhibited affection, what a world we would have!
Hannah is back in school for a full day today (yesterday I only let her go for a 1/2 day). I am praying I don't get any phone calls coming to get her. I think she will be fine.