After having our marriage convalidated, Matt and I just seemed closer. You know, when you have three kids four and under, life can get hectic. It continued that way for a few years. Our kids were now 7, 4 and 2. It seemed like things were finally getting under control. Matt and I were communicating more. Life was good...it was great. I was smiling alot (which had not happened in a long time) and knew that I didn't have to handle a thing...God was in control.
The summer of 2004 Matt turned to me and said that he regretted not having more children. We briefly talked of having his vasectomy reversed. The Lord was speaking to his heart in a different way. We knew that to reverse this cost alot of money...insurance will cover it to do it but not to undo it. And to be quite frank...to think about the procedure even made me queasy. Matt said, why not use the money and put it towards a child who is already here. Let's adopt. There was no debate. There was no thinking about it. Next thing I knew, we were researching domestic adoption vs international. We decided to do international. Now we needed to decide on what country. I had two countries in mind, Korea and Guatemala. The reason I chose these two is because the babies can be escorted to you. Remember that our children were very small. God may have called me to adopt, but He certainly wouldn't call me away from the children that are already in our care....would He? Matt knew right away that China was our destination. I kept trying to make Korea look more appealing. I even spoke to a friend from high school who adopted from there. "Here honey, listen to her experience. Isn't it great?". There is the control freak in me rearing it's ugly head again.
China. You could not get further away if you tried...at least that's what I felt. Two weeks away from our children. Who would watch them? It's not like people were coming out of the woodwork with offers...they were still reeling from the year before! The girls(Hannah and Olivia) weren't even old enough for pre-school. Jack was homeschooled. How are we going to swing two weeks of full time care for our kids here? China? Really? Well, if that's where we are supposed to go then let's see You swing this one. We chose an agency, did a flurry of paperwork, and sat for 9 months. On September 2, 2005 we received a call. Our baby girl's picture came up on our computer. She took our breath away. And then it started...my arms began to ache for her. My baby was over there and I am here. She needs her mommy. She has gone 11 months without a mamma to hold her. Normally when you get your referral for your child, you travel 3-4 weeks later. Because of the trade fair going on in China, we were not going to travel until early November. Once we received confirmation of when we were travelling, I began to panic. Who was going to watch my kids? We made the decision to bring Jack with us. He just turned 8. But there was no way I was going to be able to afford or handle taking Olivia (4) and Hannah (3). Lo and behold my MIL...who works full time and not really into the whole babysitting thing...stepped up to the plate. A neighbor helped fill in the gaps. My sister and two of my SIL's offered assistance. A friend asked where she could help. It all worked out and was orchestrated perfectly. Isn't God Great? It was if He said, "Go my daughter and complete the journey I have sent you on."
On Nov. 5, 2005 we set off for China. I remember looking back at the two girls at the airport one last time before walking thru security. There were no tears from them...after all, they were staying at Grammy and Papa's house to be kept busy and be spoiled rotten (the fruits of this two week stay with Grammy and Papa are still paying off to this day...it was a turning point). Off we went into the great unknown.
The story of Em's adoption is a very special story. I have it documented in a few places. Maybe I will write it here one day. The point of telling this particular journey should be obvious. This journey to Emma was totally orchestrated by a power beyond Matt and I. It wasn't a decision we made, it was truly a calling. The trip over to China changed us in ways I didn't even know existed in my heart. We no longer looked at things the same. To hold that child in my arms for the first time was the most significant moment in my life. To look into her eyes and not know much about her past but know where her future will be is beyond comprehension. To hear the few details about what her life had been like for the past 11 months is just short of amazing. To know there were several people who helped take care of her until we could come and get her has touched my soul.
I have a unique outlook when it comes to being a mother. I have carried three children in my womb. I have known them from the moment they moved. When each one was laid on me after being born, I finally got to see what this child, who kicked and moved inside of me, looked like. With Em, it was the opposite. I saw this child first and then I got to know the way she moved. For those who have adopted but don't have biological children...know that the love you feel is NO different. The process is different but the maternal flood of emotions is not.
Emma has overcome a language barrier. She has overcome abandonment. She has overcome different smells and sounds. She has learned she belongs in a family. She has learned to trust that she is loved. She has learned that when she eats, there will be more. Emma is my hero and is one of the strongest females I know.
The summer of 2004 Matt turned to me and said that he regretted not having more children. We briefly talked of having his vasectomy reversed. The Lord was speaking to his heart in a different way. We knew that to reverse this cost alot of money...insurance will cover it to do it but not to undo it. And to be quite frank...to think about the procedure even made me queasy. Matt said, why not use the money and put it towards a child who is already here. Let's adopt. There was no debate. There was no thinking about it. Next thing I knew, we were researching domestic adoption vs international. We decided to do international. Now we needed to decide on what country. I had two countries in mind, Korea and Guatemala. The reason I chose these two is because the babies can be escorted to you. Remember that our children were very small. God may have called me to adopt, but He certainly wouldn't call me away from the children that are already in our care....would He? Matt knew right away that China was our destination. I kept trying to make Korea look more appealing. I even spoke to a friend from high school who adopted from there. "Here honey, listen to her experience. Isn't it great?". There is the control freak in me rearing it's ugly head again.
China. You could not get further away if you tried...at least that's what I felt. Two weeks away from our children. Who would watch them? It's not like people were coming out of the woodwork with offers...they were still reeling from the year before! The girls(Hannah and Olivia) weren't even old enough for pre-school. Jack was homeschooled. How are we going to swing two weeks of full time care for our kids here? China? Really? Well, if that's where we are supposed to go then let's see You swing this one. We chose an agency, did a flurry of paperwork, and sat for 9 months. On September 2, 2005 we received a call. Our baby girl's picture came up on our computer. She took our breath away. And then it started...my arms began to ache for her. My baby was over there and I am here. She needs her mommy. She has gone 11 months without a mamma to hold her. Normally when you get your referral for your child, you travel 3-4 weeks later. Because of the trade fair going on in China, we were not going to travel until early November. Once we received confirmation of when we were travelling, I began to panic. Who was going to watch my kids? We made the decision to bring Jack with us. He just turned 8. But there was no way I was going to be able to afford or handle taking Olivia (4) and Hannah (3). Lo and behold my MIL...who works full time and not really into the whole babysitting thing...stepped up to the plate. A neighbor helped fill in the gaps. My sister and two of my SIL's offered assistance. A friend asked where she could help. It all worked out and was orchestrated perfectly. Isn't God Great? It was if He said, "Go my daughter and complete the journey I have sent you on."
On Nov. 5, 2005 we set off for China. I remember looking back at the two girls at the airport one last time before walking thru security. There were no tears from them...after all, they were staying at Grammy and Papa's house to be kept busy and be spoiled rotten (the fruits of this two week stay with Grammy and Papa are still paying off to this day...it was a turning point). Off we went into the great unknown.
The story of Em's adoption is a very special story. I have it documented in a few places. Maybe I will write it here one day. The point of telling this particular journey should be obvious. This journey to Emma was totally orchestrated by a power beyond Matt and I. It wasn't a decision we made, it was truly a calling. The trip over to China changed us in ways I didn't even know existed in my heart. We no longer looked at things the same. To hold that child in my arms for the first time was the most significant moment in my life. To look into her eyes and not know much about her past but know where her future will be is beyond comprehension. To hear the few details about what her life had been like for the past 11 months is just short of amazing. To know there were several people who helped take care of her until we could come and get her has touched my soul.
I have a unique outlook when it comes to being a mother. I have carried three children in my womb. I have known them from the moment they moved. When each one was laid on me after being born, I finally got to see what this child, who kicked and moved inside of me, looked like. With Em, it was the opposite. I saw this child first and then I got to know the way she moved. For those who have adopted but don't have biological children...know that the love you feel is NO different. The process is different but the maternal flood of emotions is not.
Emma has overcome a language barrier. She has overcome abandonment. She has overcome different smells and sounds. She has learned she belongs in a family. She has learned to trust that she is loved. She has learned that when she eats, there will be more. Emma is my hero and is one of the strongest females I know.
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