TMI

Another happening in my life that is of some significance is:

The Good Lord wasn't done with His graces yet...he moved our hearts once again. I have always suffered from heavy and painful periods. The dr. that delivered Olivia kept insisting I go on the pill. I just didn't feel like that was the answer to my problems. I asked about other treatments and was told there was a new one called Laser Ablation. Huh? BBQ my uterus? No thanks. And with a heavy heart, I left him. I decided I was going to get a woman and I was going Pro-Life. We have an HMO...and for those who have an HMO, you know how fun it is to Dr. shop! I was listening to a Catholic radio station online and they had an ad for a woman's center. I looked it up online to see where it was. A little far but nothing I couldn't do once a year. I held my breath and looked into my health care provider booklet. Lo and behold, a Dr. from this center was listed and she was a WOMAN! I cried. Then I called for an appt. I cried to the receptionist who I am sure thought I was a lunatic...bless her heart, she never made me feel like I was. You know what was even the best part? I didn't have to wait a month to get in (like with my previous dr.) and I had an appt. for the very next week. Matt got home and I cried some more.



I went to my first appt. and when I told the dr. my symptoms she patted my leg and said I had been suffering too long. There was a hormone that was deficient in me and they prescribed a bioidentical (not biosynthetic) replacement. It has changed my life. (disclaimer: always see your health care professional for advice and never go by someone else's success story...each body is made differently). While talking with my dr. I inquired if she knew of any urologists that would reverse vasectomies. She gave me a name but she was unsure of where his office was. I don't know why I asked this because Matt and I were not talking of reversal at the time. It just popped into my head and came out my mouth. I walked out of my appt with a prescription to a new way of life and a dr.'s name I didn't even glance at ...and guess what I did? Yep, I cried.



A little while after that appt., Matt started having some discomfort and swelling..umm..down there. He saw his PCP and was given motrin. This helped with the swelling but not with the discomfort. Remember when I spoke about Em's adoption and how there was no real discussion? Well, Matt mentioned that maybe we should investigate a reversal. Guess who had a name? Guess where the dr. was located? Less than a mile from our house! We investigated cost....no, it wasn't cheap. In mid 2008, Matt went in for a reversal. The dr. said that on one side, the vas tubes had grown back together but was pinched (hence the swelling and discomfort). It was not an easy procedure and the first week was not fun for him. He is all hooked back up and we are learning NFP (which coincidentally, I have to know a basic form of it to monitor when I ovulate due to my medication). I have to say though that we have regained something in the bedroom that we weren't even fully aware we had lost...it was the union of a man and woman embracing in an act that is a gift from God. We finally had "us" back the way it was meant to be.

A missionary's heart

I really need to wrap up these events of the past so I can start posting on the present! But each event is a step towards what my life has become...it is important to retrace these footsteps so it makes sense to those who are brave enough to tackle this blog. It is important for my kids to someday understand these events.
To sum up 2007 and 2008...it was us being submerged in our faith. For the most part of 2007, we were on our "honeymoon" phase with the Lord. We enrolled the kids in a Catholic school about 20 minutes from our home. We left our parish of 10 years to join the parish the kids went to. I miss the people at our old parish...but I feel fed at our current one. (Sounds snobby I know but I just have to be honest). Jack serves Mass and we have learned so much.

During this time I had this urgent yearning to do missionary work. I half-heartedly looked into different Catholic organizations that could accommodate a family...I found two. One of the organizations was featured on a show on the cable that airs Catholic media. I about fell out of my chair. I expressed this desire to travel to a third world country to evangelize to Matt. He is the voice of practicality and quickly (although respectfully) had me rethink where it is God is truly calling me. I had come to the conclusion that while I have a missionary heart, I also have a vocation: wife and mother. Two of our children had been recently diagnosed with chronic conditions. While I know in my heart the Lord will provide, Matt asked me to think about how fair it was to these two small children to take them to a third world country for the sake of fulfilling my yearning. Instant doubt flooded my mind as I tried to wrestle with what I had going on in my current vocation and what my heart was being pulled to do. I just told God that He was going to have to have everything to fall into place...just like He did when we went to get Em...if this were to happen. (I am so funny telling God my stipulations aren't I?).

Much of 2007 and some of 2008 was spent with doctors and specialists for these two chronic conditions. Hannah was diagnosed with asthma and landed in the hospital for a 4 day stretch...we could have lost her due to my lack of knowledge on how serious asthma can be. Emma had been having seizures and I got to learn how to spell neurologist without thinking twice about where the e and the u go. They were both placed on meds for each of their conditions. Hannie seemed to respond wonderfully. Em wasnt' so lucky so we took her off of them in hopes she would just outgrow her condition.

Early in their diagnoses, we chaperoned a field trip with Jack's class to a shrine not far from our home. It was the shrine for the sick and dying. It was a nice trip and we received an annointing by Fr. with oil he recently brought back from Lourdes. We of course prayed for H and E for healing and went on with our lives for a while. About 8 months after attending this field trip, I was deep cleaning Jack's room. Jack has pack rat tendencies (he gets it from my side) so I go in there and purge things that are just junk no matter how much sentimental value he has placed on it. I picked up an old folder to put it with the rest of the school supplies when a prayer card fell out. Jack had brought it back with him from the shrine. I flipped it over to read it and it said, "if you have received a miracle after visiting the shrine, please write us to let us know." I immediately went down to find the notebooks that I keep Han and Em's symptoms, meds, dr.'s visits etc in it. The last date that either of them had any symptoms was around the same time we went to the shrine. Now, I suppose you can chalk it up to the meds for H...but how do you explain Em's condition? That she outgrew it all of the sudden? (and yes, I did write a letter letting them know that this mom chalked it up to 2 miracles). I am writing this in 2009 and there have been no asthma attacks...Hannah is off all meds and has been for almost a year. Em has been seizure free for well over a year. Can I get an AMEN?!

p.s. see post in Feb that describes Hannah's relapse. If you ask if I still believe that a miracle was performed here, my answer is a solid YES>

Back to my point about the missionary's heart...I still have this yearning to do mission work. I have since returned to school to complete a Nursing degree. I have been thinking about doing a medical mission. I am in my second semester. I sat up in bed last week and realized; I am doing missionary work, only I am too thick skulled to see it! More on that in a future post.

A break in the action

If this blog's purpose is to document, I must take a break from walking down memory lane in order to acknowledge the happenings of the present. Yesterday the 44th president of the United States of America was sworn in. I am left to wonder if I paid more attention to it because I follow these things now. Or did I pay attention to it because one couldn't escape it? It is a very historical moment...one cannot deny this no matter what your feeling on the matter may be. Two things struck me as I listened to Pres. Obama's inauguration:
1) The part of President Obama's speech where he said,

"For those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you." —Inaugural Speech, January 20th, 2009

2) The benediction of the inauguration where Rev. Lowery said,

"Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -- (laughter) -- when yellow will be mellow -- (laughter) -- when the red man can get ahead, man -- (laughter) -- and when white will embrace what is right." --Inaugural Speech, January 20th, 2009

If you do not understand where I am going with this...read no further for it will make no sense to you. The words "slaughtering innocents" keep running through my head. Was I hearing it right? The slaughtering of the innocents! Mr. President, do you understand the weight of what you just said? Do you understand what you just conveyed to the Pro-Life Americans that ten minutes ago you swore to uphold and protect. The constitution says that ALL men are created equal. That was not always so...we know that. We have proven we can rise above. We have shown that we have come so far and can still keep working. We can all agree on that. Where we have trouble is with the word Created. How does one get here if not through it's mother womb? ALL men are CREATED equal. Not, ALL men are CREATED equal ...unless its inconvenient. SO excuse me if I am not jumping up and down at this new president. It's not because the color of his skin...and if you read two posts ago...you will understand where I stand on race. It's because his record of being the most liberal senator. It's because of his stance on those innocents...the unborn. It's because of the Born Alive Act, it's because of his promise to Planned Parenthood, it's because of the White House's website about how he feels about women.
People are running around shouting about how wonderful Obama is and now we have hope. But dare I burst their bubble and ask, "what has he done in government that would give you that hope?" Sure, he has beaten many odds. Do we not realize that we always have hope. Why have we put all of our hope in one man's hands? Are people so separated from our Lord that we place all of our beliefs in a man who has no track record?
But dare I say anymore? Rev. Lowery made it known how he feels about me if I lash out anymore. Sorry, but that statement was racist and I was shocked when I heard it. And he didn't say, "May the white always embrace what is right". He said, "When the white will embrace what is right".

So what is this SAHM/PT student supposed to do about all of this? I will just have to spend more time on my knees, placing these feelings in the care of my Lord. After all, there is only one Man I place my hope in...

Brother D and the Anti-C

We returned home with a beautiful baby girl. The transition was a pretty smooth one. Slowly, Em let each sibling into her world of people to trust. Once she got going, she never looked back. As we entered 2006, we started to learn more of our faith. A lesson I learned quickly is that the closer you get to God, the more you will be tested.
(I want this blog to be a documentation of that whole process for our family. Our girls have no clue that we "changed" at all. Jack,however, remembers what it was like when we weren't "so Catholic". I think he looks upon those times with nostalgia.)
So here we are, settling in quite nicely...enter in Matt's brother...who was a "bible" christian with a mission to save all of us heathen Catholics. We'll call him Brother D( who BTW is Jack's godfather back in the day when he would enter a Catholic Church). I will not go on and on about what all that entailed because it's the typical anti-catholic rhetoric. I will say that we were questioned...sometimes brutally...on our faith. We were NOT prepared because we didn't know how to answer. We had Brother D come in and tell us we were going to hell, the Pope was the anti-christ, Church is whore of babylon...yadda yadda yadda. Before this sounds like I am complaining, I want to express that it's the opposite. I am thankful for Brother D. I am blessed that God used Brother D to further my faith. Without him coming with these point blank accusations, I would not have dusted off my Catechism. I would not have read scripture. I would not have read the Church fathers. I would not have discovered EWTN or Fr. Corapi or Scott Hahn. Thank you Brother D! If I was a Catholic, then I had better know what it means to be a Catholic. I remember listening to one of Brother D's tyrades and looking at Matt and saying, "we believe that?" Then reading up on the latest way we were told we failed God and learning that, "yeah, we believe that but not the way Brother D puts it." I think there was a small portion of time that we looked into our faith afraid of finding that it wasn't adding up. What happened was quite the opposite. Our research on the Catholic faith made us understand what it is we say we believe when we recite the Apostle's Creed at Mass. Mass became more beautiful to us. I now was dressing the kids for Mass with excitement...I was going to my Father's house!
So thank you Brother D...I have told you how thankful I am...you will never know how much.

p.s. Brother D has since calmed down quite a bit with his anti-Catholic rhetoric. He has apologized for some of his accusations...I still just feel blessed because of them. He has even stepped up as Jack's Godfather...although he is no longer Catholic, he has been sending Jack things that are biblical and respectful to our faith. I am very proud of how far he has come. It brings tears of joy to my eyes when I read his letter to his godson. He and his family have grown beautifully these past few years in love and in numbers! They are a blessing to know. Love Ya Brother D!

Blessings in disguise

After having our marriage convalidated, Matt and I just seemed closer. You know, when you have three kids four and under, life can get hectic. It continued that way for a few years. Our kids were now 7, 4 and 2. It seemed like things were finally getting under control. Matt and I were communicating more. Life was good...it was great. I was smiling alot (which had not happened in a long time) and knew that I didn't have to handle a thing...God was in control.



The summer of 2004 Matt turned to me and said that he regretted not having more children. We briefly talked of having his vasectomy reversed. The Lord was speaking to his heart in a different way. We knew that to reverse this cost alot of money...insurance will cover it to do it but not to undo it. And to be quite frank...to think about the procedure even made me queasy. Matt said, why not use the money and put it towards a child who is already here. Let's adopt. There was no debate. There was no thinking about it. Next thing I knew, we were researching domestic adoption vs international. We decided to do international. Now we needed to decide on what country. I had two countries in mind, Korea and Guatemala. The reason I chose these two is because the babies can be escorted to you. Remember that our children were very small. God may have called me to adopt, but He certainly wouldn't call me away from the children that are already in our care....would He? Matt knew right away that China was our destination. I kept trying to make Korea look more appealing. I even spoke to a friend from high school who adopted from there. "Here honey, listen to her experience. Isn't it great?". There is the control freak in me rearing it's ugly head again.

China. You could not get further away if you tried...at least that's what I felt. Two weeks away from our children. Who would watch them? It's not like people were coming out of the woodwork with offers...they were still reeling from the year before! The girls(Hannah and Olivia) weren't even old enough for pre-school. Jack was homeschooled. How are we going to swing two weeks of full time care for our kids here? China? Really? Well, if that's where we are supposed to go then let's see You swing this one. We chose an agency, did a flurry of paperwork, and sat for 9 months. On September 2, 2005 we received a call. Our baby girl's picture came up on our computer. She took our breath away. And then it started...my arms began to ache for her. My baby was over there and I am here. She needs her mommy. She has gone 11 months without a mamma to hold her. Normally when you get your referral for your child, you travel 3-4 weeks later. Because of the trade fair going on in China, we were not going to travel until early November. Once we received confirmation of when we were travelling, I began to panic. Who was going to watch my kids? We made the decision to bring Jack with us. He just turned 8. But there was no way I was going to be able to afford or handle taking Olivia (4) and Hannah (3). Lo and behold my MIL...who works full time and not really into the whole babysitting thing...stepped up to the plate. A neighbor helped fill in the gaps. My sister and two of my SIL's offered assistance. A friend asked where she could help. It all worked out and was orchestrated perfectly. Isn't God Great? It was if He said, "Go my daughter and complete the journey I have sent you on."
On Nov. 5, 2005 we set off for China. I remember looking back at the two girls at the airport one last time before walking thru security. There were no tears from them...after all, they were staying at Grammy and Papa's house to be kept busy and be spoiled rotten (the fruits of this two week stay with Grammy and Papa are still paying off to this day...it was a turning point). Off we went into the great unknown.
The story of Em's adoption is a very special story. I have it documented in a few places. Maybe I will write it here one day. The point of telling this particular journey should be obvious. This journey to Emma was totally orchestrated by a power beyond Matt and I. It wasn't a decision we made, it was truly a calling. The trip over to China changed us in ways I didn't even know existed in my heart. We no longer looked at things the same. To hold that child in my arms for the first time was the most significant moment in my life. To look into her eyes and not know much about her past but know where her future will be is beyond comprehension. To hear the few details about what her life had been like for the past 11 months is just short of amazing. To know there were several people who helped take care of her until we could come and get her has touched my soul.
I have a unique outlook when it comes to being a mother. I have carried three children in my womb. I have known them from the moment they moved. When each one was laid on me after being born, I finally got to see what this child, who kicked and moved inside of me, looked like. With Em, it was the opposite. I saw this child first and then I got to know the way she moved. For those who have adopted but don't have biological children...know that the love you feel is NO different. The process is different but the maternal flood of emotions is not.
Emma has overcome a language barrier. She has overcome abandonment. She has overcome different smells and sounds. She has learned she belongs in a family. She has learned to trust that she is loved. She has learned that when she eats, there will be more. Emma is my hero and is one of the strongest females I know.

2004...it was a memorable year

So to sum up 2003: My parents divorce. Come November of 2003, I was just emotionally drained. I do not consider myself to ever have suffered from depression...but whatever the first step up from that is called...that was what I was in. I was doing but not really present in my daily activities. Who knew that as an adult, my parent's divorce would have shook my world up so much. To top it off, we lost my great-grandmother. She was 97 and had been in a nursing home for many years with some form of dementia/alzheimers. I don't know why I was shocked when I received the call that she had passed... being emotionally drained could be the cause. We had to drive to PA to have her funeral. My grandparents and my dad call it "back home" as that is where they are originally from. My sister and her daughter also made the trek. The kids did wonderful and I was glad to have gone despite the initial dread I had (November in the mountains of PA with three small children in the car wasn't my idea of a good time). Great grandma was a warm and kind woman and I miss her very much.


After the events of this year, I needed a break so Matt and I decided that we were going to take a vacation to see his brother and his family in Hawaii for Christmas. I looked forward to laying on the beach, soaking up the sun and just being far away from all of these issues. We were gone for almost a month. Looking back now, I realize that this trip was the calm before the storm. I had no idea what was ahead in 2004.


The first half of 2004 contained a series of events that rocked our family. Although our little family of five was stable... our extended family was in so much pain. Matt and I witnessed two marriages struggle through infidelity, old secrets from long ago came out, and unspeakable acts that were committed in a few family members' childhood came to the surface. I thought about expanding on these events...but to walk down that path again is really just too painful. I will say that the marriages survived, the old secrets will work themselves out, and the unspeakable acts...well, how does one fully recover? The point of all of this is that it was absolutely painful. I remember Matt and I taking turns just bursting into tears. To watch those you love so much have these issues to deal with all at once is heartbreaking. It was at this time that I remember laying on the floor and just looking up and saying, "you know God, You take over....I cannot do this by myself anymore. I don't even know how to feel let alone how to help."
A few days after this, I walked into the room where Matt was reading the Bible. He just started crying (FYI-Matt does not tear up easily. He has been my rock for many years so to see him crack is quite an event). He was reading in the Gospel where it says, 'which one of you would give his son a snake when he asks for a fish...how much more will your Heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him?'-Mt 7:9-11
I have read that passage before but something about your husband sobbing over scripture will really get it speaking to your heart. In April of 2004, Jack took his first communion. I was sobbing like a baby as I watched him receive his Lord for the first time. And then a week later it happened...I was walking thru the kitchen and this wonderful wash of Love just poured over me. It was not a feeling...it was physical. It was heavy and I could barely stand. I cannot describe it in words. I am not a writer and despite my ability to go on and on, I do not express myself well with these words. I have heard the words 'born again' and I am hesitant to use them. Those of you who are Catholic will know what I mean...well, we just don't call it that do we? One baptism for the forgiveness of sins. I think those who do believe in born again theory-reversion is what I call it- will know what it is that I felt. Semantics. But I also believe that God can move you into an experience without this feeling of warmth...
This was the start of this incredible journey...and guess what? It all came thru suffering. Not suffering in a physical sense...although it sure felt physical at times especially in my heart. But suffering where you just don't have the answers anymore. The suffering that you can't take medicine to ease it. The kind that you can literally feel your heart hurting inside your chest. You see, as an oldest child, I am used to being the problem solver. I have all of the advice for our younger siblings and when I can't fix it, I feel like a failure. I am sure I am called little -miss- know -it- all in certain circles. It is very hard for me to hand over control or think that someone else has better answers than I do. It's not pride, it just my make up (okay, character flaw). God knew this. It is why those particular lessons came in the form that they did. He had to break me in order to get me to hear His voice. Not until I threw up my hands and gave in did He start to whisper to me. Softly at first and then loudly as time went on. Guiding me gently...and sometimes not so gently when I tried to take control again.
I am still in awe at how Matt and I were affected at the same time. I can't imagine going thru that without him knowing exactly what I was feeling. We were coming up on our 10th anniversary. We thought it was time to get our marriage convalidated. So in June, we said our vows after Mass. It was Fr. , Matt, me, and two witnesses...that's it. It was emotional and it was beautiful. From that moment on...life took us down a path that was very unexpected, took us down a path that was very frustrating, and took us down a path that deepened our faith.

This will probably be one, long ,drawn out post. I think my husband's new favorite word is circumlocution...I think he likes it because I am next to the definition in the dictionary. I can't help it. I come from a long line of circumlocutors. I am sure at least one of my children will be a master of this family trait. I have a suspicion of which one but I hold back on revealing their identity for now. But one must understand many of the background events that happened in order to get a full picture. I may add things here and there as I go along too.
Without further ado, here is our story of our reversion back to our faith....

We were married in 1994. We eloped. Long story for another post of why we eloped but in a nutshell...our families were a big factor. We thought we would just elope first and then have a church wedding. Funny thinking now that I look back on it. The even more ironic thing was that after our first year of marriage, we moved even closer to these people. Matt and I are both the oldest children in our families. I truly believe in birth order and I think the oldest child has unique characteristics...but then again, I wouldn't know any different would I?
Right before and in our early marriage I waited tables and went to school while Matt worked at the place of employment he currently holds. I waited on a medical student who was putting himself through school to become an OB/GYN. Naturally we struck up a conversation and found we knew many of the same people. Over the years we talked about some infertility issues I was having. He pointed me in the right direction a few times and hey, it was free medical advice. He didn't know where he was going to go into practice at just yet but asked me to look him up in a year or two when he became Dr. M (because he was still just Mr. M at that point). Yeah, I had NO intention of looking him up. It was one thing to talk casually at the restaurant it was entirely another thing to ...well, it would have just been wierd.
About a year after we were married, I ended up quitting my waitress job when I was hired at the hospital my MIL worked at. I was an OR tech and I loved it. It was flexible enough to where I could still go to school. Now that we had settled a little bit I really wanted a baby. I was told that it would be very difficult for me to get pregnant if at all. After a year of seriously trying, we were put on Clomid. First time, worked like a charm. It was a wonderful pregnancy (once the first few months of puking went away). I was HUGE but I was glowing and had beautiful hair and skin. We didn't find out what we were having. I quit my job when the third trimester came around and I quit going to school. I nested, I had my baby shower, I had the house looking perfect. I was so happy to be pregnant and happy to finally have a baby in my arms. Jack was an easy delivery and my longest labor (7 hours). (He also was the crabbiest child we had...we just didn't know it at the time). Now that we have this new baby, the reality of what we were responsible for hit us.
To give a little background on my religious resume: I was raised in a free will Methodist church. My parents' philosophy was that when we were old enough, we could choose our own faith to get baptized in. It was not a philosophy I wanted to pass down in my new family. We had Jack baptized in the Roman Catholic Church. After all, Matt had been baptized Catholic and I had just converted five years prior(not because Matt was...that is another post too). Over the next couple of years, we went to Mass now and then. Jack turned 2 and we decided maybe it was time for another. Dr. put us back on Clomid after six months of unsuccessfully trying it on our own. We (I) did the Clomid thing again for five cycles and no pregnancy. Dr. wanted to do an endometrial biopsy in the office. I sweated all week dreading this procedure but if it meant that I could have a baby then I was willing to do whatever it took. Day of the procedure, dr. cancelled the appt. I never went back to him.
On the day of my cancelled appt. I was crying to my MIL (the OR nurse). She mentioned the name of a female OB/GYN who she really thought I would like. I went in for my first exam with this new Dr. R. a few weeks later. She was really nice and it was a good change from my previous doc (who I do not have bad feelings for...this change was just very nice). After administering a blood test to rule out pregnancy, she prescribed Provera-to start my period and then Clomid on day 10. We were starting over with her. So I took my Provera like a good little patient and my period never started. Then I threw up hot tea and toast....guess what? I was pregnant and the blood test didn't show it because it was too early. As I was going to schedule my first few OB appts. guess who pops his head out the door? That's right, Dr. M. Guess who ended up delivering Olivia? That's right, Dr. M. Guess who was my new dr. now? That's right...boy, you catch on quick.
Guess what happened when Olivia turned 6 months old? Go ahead, guess....That's right, I was pregnant again! Nine months later came Hannah. The girls were 14 months apart. How did I do it you ask? I don't know, I don't remember much of that time frame....guess a blog would have been good. SO much for being infertile. (Guess what DH got done when H was three months old. Unfortunately, yes he did...but more on that later. )
Fast forward to 2003. Jack is going thru his CCD classes. He didn't even know the Our Father or the Hail Mary. We really started taking a hard look at what it meant to raise these kids with a faith. Matt had not been confirmed yet either and decided that if we were going to raise our kids Catholic that he should at least set an example. So at Easter Vigil in 2003, he was confirmed. I started to get involved in our parish. 2003 was a precursor of the events of 2004 so lets set the stage for some of that now.
My parents have had a rocky relationship for about a decade now. That is a story that is so complicated and ridiculous and sad...that I just don't have it in me to start picking that apart right now. In the fall of 2003, my mom called and said they were getting a divorce after 32 years of marriage. I was not surprised but not really happy about it. She said it was going to be amicable and everything would be okay. WRONG! It was the most hateful and deceitful thing I have ever witnessed and almost 6 years later...I am still not sure what happened there. Basically my mom accused my dad of unspeakable atrocities...many extended family members got involved and many lines got crossed. That side of the family is still in pieces. My point is that it was an event that I let affect my life with my Husband and my kids. I was not in a good frame of mind. I had a first grader and a three and two year old. That job is exhausting in and of itself. Let alone add the stress of this divorce that wasn't even my own.
The other events that went on that year: We had just moved to a new house. Matt was starting to learn his faith again. Matt was working crazy hours taking on a new position in management. I volunteered A LOT at our parish and started to ask A LOT of questions about our faith. One common thing that many of the ladies said was that I knew my faith better than most catholics so don't worry about it. They were well meaning and I learned alot from them but I still didn't feel satisfied. Matt joined Parish Council...he was getting the same feedback from fellow council members.
I didn't realize it then but God had many shake ups coming our way....
(to be continued next post)